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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Di's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
4:08 pm
hello world

i'm back.

Current Mood: amused
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
5:57 pm
how many job interviews can one go to before giving up and settling? i am determined to find a job i'm going to LOVE. pray for me?
Saturday, January 8th, 2005
2:14 pm
so i guess i'll be here for while...
if you haven't heard by now, i've moved. i've moved on. to bigger and better things. HAH. maybe not bigger, but i was hoping for the better part. so i guess the goal for january is to find a job and find a place of my own. staying with sean isn't a good idea. i mean, it is for now, but not at this point in our relationship. i think it would do more damage than good.
my sister comes back from indonesia this weekend. I'm glad my mom and her were not affected by the fiasco that is happening in south asia. i can't watch the news any more. i can't look at anymore pictures. it breaks my heart.
i read this article in the latest time magazine about how when disasters happen in poor countries such as this one, there are more casualties because poor countries doesn't have the kind of systems that countries like the United States, Japan, or European countries have. When casualties hit the strong countries with all the resources, you can bet your ass that the casualties would only be a tenth of what it is over in south asia.
anyways, i'm rambling. time to go to costco with mr. selfish.
Thursday, November 11th, 2004
11:21 am
So I think I am moving soon. I have a room available. Rent is $600. Reply if you are interested.
Saturday, October 9th, 2004
1:39 pm
today feels like freshman year all over again
remember how fridays nights used to be? drinking and eating all night long only to wake up after a good night's sleep and eat some more? i miss those days... i'm glad i was reminded of what a relaxing day should be like.
Sunday, August 1st, 2004
10:51 pm
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

Good night my baby
Sleep tight my baby
10:01 pm
nothing is fixed...
i don't think that anything was resolved tonight. why is it that i have a hard time dealing with things and he can go on and about as if it's nothing? why am such an emotional person? just once, i'd like for him to shed the tears and for me to be okay. i want to be okay.
Friday, July 30th, 2004
7:13 pm
i have a new room.
Wednesday, June 9th, 2004
10:49 am
taken from a friend's journal...
..:: Golden rules for finding your life partner ::..by Dov Heller, M.A.

A relationships coach who lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term marital success. When it comes to making the decision
about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll
say: "We're in love." I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they
date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct," there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love isthe result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone." You need a lot more!!!

QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)
you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there aregrowing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line;
and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling
safe means you can communicate openly with this person.The basis of having
good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you
test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing". So ask about your significant other: What do they do
with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is
notsomeone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world:
(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and
(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort
ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down
the aisle.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability
to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they
wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.?
How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them
everything; can you do nearly as much for them?

You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually
treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse!" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The
key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to
ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is
a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective...
There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships.
Monday, June 7th, 2004
12:34 am

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
Thursday, June 3rd, 2004
6:58 pm
2 more weeks until graduation...
June 19th, 2004 (Date of Graduation)

I know everyone says this but it's true...time flies by. I can't believe that in just 2 weeks I won't be writing any more papers (unless i go to graduate school) or filling in any more bubbles in that damn brown scantron. i might even be allowed to forget about my ID#. I can't believe i have to get my own health insurance because i won't qualify under my parents and my they won't be able to claim me in their tax returns. this is what it must feel like to be a grown up. all i need now is my own place and a puppy. oh make that 2 puppies.

all this time i've been spending trying to get out of school, yet everyone who've graduated wished that they could go back to school.
Saturday, May 22nd, 2004
8:17 pm
stolen from alodiah's journal...
Sooo, hey how's it going...It's 4 am in the land of Irvine, the godforsaken place I call my home. The computers are a-buzzin and the roomates are slowly settling down into peaceful slumber.

Not much happens around here...once in a while you are just sitting there in your underwear on the internet, and your roomate barges in and says, "Hey, get ready, we're going out." So, you shrug and figure, "Meh. I have nothing to do anyway." Everyone gets in the car and heads to Sunset to mingle with the rest of the Hollywood Trash. You get to a club, and dance in the middle of a floor where no one else can dance, and get groped by the usual number of stupid men who can't start a conversation but just start freaking up on you like you are some random pole to hump. Fuck that. After you have two drinks, you head over with the girls to the club next door and sneak into the vip room. Sometimes you start talking to a guy, and his name ends up being the same as your first boyfriend, and then you lose interest. Then you smile at the dj because he's hot and amazing (and you can't stop staring at his hands on the turntables), it's easy to get attention if you just make eye contact, but American men are lame and don't do shit. And they don't tell you things like "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," and stroke your hair, like they do in Spain. Nope, they just stand there, and stare back at you like they're interested, and then they just...stand there.

Once in a while, after a night like that, you head home with the girls and get FUCKING PULLED OVER FOR GOING 65 MILES AN HOUR, and a little SOBER ASIAN AMERICAN GIRL has to get out of her car and take 5 DUI tests with three big WHITE ORANGE COUNTY ROOKIE COPS SURROUNDING HER. And sometimes, a stupid rookie cop will come up to the window of the girls that aren't even driving and threaten them by saying "Have you had any more to drink than her? You're friend was THIS CLOSE to going to jail." That stupid ass didn't even LOOK at the breathalizer. ONE COP HAD TO CALL 2 OTHER COPS for backup, just in case ME AND FUCKING DIANA were gonna go Thelma and Louise on their LAME asses. We didn't even get a warning or a citation, they had no business pulling us over. I HATE IRVINE COPS. We're sober, we're girls, we're going with the flow of traffic, but, we're BROWN PEOPLE. Ok, I guess that's enough to pull us over.




Well, the night was fun before that, at least. Before the cops, it wasn't that bad, I was enjoying being with the girls, and listening to music, and dancing with people. I like people that like to enjoy life and music. It's great not taking yourself so seriously all the time.

Current Mood: IT'S RACIAL!
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
11:12 pm
when it's good, it's good
You're a prison I can't escape
You're a decision I never make
Heard me laughing
You heard me weep and moan
When it's good, it's good
When it's gone, it's gone

They say time will kill the pain
I say pain is gonna kill my time
Lord won't you save me
Or leave me alone

When it's good, it's good
When it's gone, it's gone

I hang your picture above my mind
Don't do anything you can't deny
I could never be your pawn
When it's good, it's good
When it's gone, it's gone

Some drink to remember
Some to forget
Some for satisfaction
Some to regret
I hope a brighter day to you I've shown

When it's good, it's good
When it's gone, it's gone
Saturday, April 10th, 2004
7:37 pm
it's easter tomorrow...
i woke up at 10 this morning, i haven't done that in a year. 9 more weeks before i am a college graduate and will be working full time. i read today that united airlines is offering ten thousand miles for recent college graduates. that's ten thousand miles short of a free flight. right now the one thing i am excited about is my vacation to hawaii after i graduate. i wish more of you would come along and bask in the sun with me. in addition, i will be spending a weekend with my dad in vegas the day after graduation. all this talk of graduation is making me nervous. currently i am searching for a place to live. being that i have decided to stay in the irvine area, i think i finally deserve my own room. the ideal would be to live with some friends so that i am not living in strange conditions, but having my own room after 4 years is crucial.

work at fiore, racobs and powers is awful. not the work itself but more like the firm administrator because she is a hypocrite. she leaves to go to costco during work to buy groceries for her self. she comes in late, and leaves early. i'm sure the whole office would rather have her disappear. that's my rant for work.

sean is calling me, we haven't talked in days. i miss him.
Sunday, March 14th, 2004
8:02 pm
This can't be love, because I feel so well,
No sobs, no sorrows, no sighs.
This can't be love; I get no dizzy spells,
My head is not in the skies.

My heart does not stand still, just hear it beat.
This is too sweet to be love.

This can't be love, because I feel so well,
But still I love to look in your eyes.
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2004
9:06 pm
Diah said...
"Screw growing up and not having time"...i say DITTO to that!
Lately i've been bombarded with all these anxieties about what i will do after graduation. What the hell am i going to do? I definitely need a job. Do i really want to go to law school? Is that really what i want as a career? Maybe i should just stop doing this "being ambitious" act because all i really want to do is nothing. well not completely nothing, but i don't want all these stressors and complications and worrying and wondering if i'll be okay.

what i do want is to travel... TRAVELING...i want to travel to foreign countries. but that means i need money. and that means i need a job. and that means i won't have time. blah blah blah.

All this mixed emotions and i have no one to turn to. The one i love is on the other side of the country. i keep hoping that we'll be okay. What have i gotten myself into?
Sunday, February 22nd, 2004
1:32 pm
it's been raining for the last 3 days and i broke my umbrella.

i'm tired.

i'm tired of how i am living my life, tired of irvine, tired of school, tired of crying, tired of worrying and stressing out.

for the first time in my life, i want to live alone...alone on an island with a puppy named frank sinatra.

i don't even like being alone.
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
1:09 am
my funny valentine....
smith, nap, crabcakes, more nap, tortilla coast, grocery shopping, sleep, more sleep, pancakes, eggs, jimmy dean, strawberries, champagne, orange juice, union station, bath salts, miracle, drain stopper, cooking dinner together, really good wine, no bake cheesecake, sleep, more sleep, dim sum, chopsticks, tea, walking to iwojima, arlington cemetary, nap, loads of laundry, more nap, dinner, nba all star, alias, sleep, more sleep, even more sleep, and tgi fridays at national. ta daa...

i couldn't have asked for a better weekend.
Sunday, January 18th, 2004
8:23 pm
Seven a.m.
The garbage truck beeps as it backs up
And I start my day thinking about what I've thrown away
Could I push rewind?
The credits traverse, signifying the end
But I missed the best part
Could we please go back to start?
Forgive my indecision
Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side
But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride
Eleven a.m.
By now you would think that I would be up
But my bedsheets shade the heat of choices I've made
And what did I find?
I never thought I could want someone so much
Cause now you're not here and I'm knee deep in that old fear
Forgive my indecision
I am only a woman
Then again, you're always first when no one's on your side
But then again, a day will come when I want off that ride
Twelve p.m. and my dusty telephone rings
Heavy head up from my pillow, who could it be?
I hope it's you
Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
8:35 pm
there is a lot to write about...
i want to backpack through europe after i graduate
i want to spend some time in DC with sean
i want to keep my sanity when i go back to live with my parents in Vtown
i need a job so i can pay my school loans
and i want to figure out what i want to do as a career.

it just seems like everything is coming at a much faster rate than i can handle and i am overwhelmed.
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